I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
