So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
