Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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