We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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