you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
