She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
