the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
