bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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