Your tits are I can't wait for
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
did i walk over a car last night?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
