my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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