I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
