She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
