I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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