I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
