My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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