The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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