I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
