uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
