I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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