Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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