uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
