no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
