Dual....:-)
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
