The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
