I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
