Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.

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(805): View more from California

she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

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(256): View more from Alabama

The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.

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(806): View more from Texas

We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.

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(631): View more from New York

You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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(360): View more from Washington

we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

that is very illegal...i love you.

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