"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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