I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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