C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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