come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
