2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
