Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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