Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
