I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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