I'm really into asian looking animals
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
