i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
zippers are such a cool invention
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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