she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im about as happy as oj after his trial
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
