wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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