Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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