saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He better not be in your backpack
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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