I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
