Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
