dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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