just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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