you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
