were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I want her autograph on my taint
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
