There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
