the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
