Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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