You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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