I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
