so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
