They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
